Description
New York Times columnist Alina Tugend delivers an eye-opening big idea: Embracing mistakes can make us smarter healthier and happier in every facet of our lives. In this persuasive book journalist Alina Tugend examines the delicate tension between what were toldwe must make mistakes in order to learnand the realitywe often get punished for them. She shows us that mistakes are everywhere and when we acknowledge and identify them correctly we can improve not only ourselves but our families our work and the world around us as well. Bold and dynamic insightful and provocative Better by Mistake turns our cultural wisdom on its head to illustrate the downside of striving for perfection and the rewards of acknowledging and accepting mistakes and embracing the imperfection in all of us. Alina Tugend on Better by Mistake:. I wrote Better by Mistake to explore an ongoing tension: Were taught when were young that we learn from mistakes but the reality is that most of us hate and dread them. A friend of mine loves to tell the anecdote of driving her son home from kindergarten and asking what he learned. “Nothing” he said. “Nothing?” she asked. “You didnt learn a single thing?” “No” he replied. “My teacher said you learn by making mistakes and I didnt make any today.”. Imagine if that attitude survived throughout our lives. If when we thought about how our day went we didnt regret our mistakes but proudly thought about those we had made and what we had drawn from them. It takes workbut we can try to recapture that philosophy. Through research and interviews I found that there are ways all of us can shift our thinking about mistakes. And in doing so well learn how to leave behind the defensiveness and accusations that too often accompany errors and experiences of failure. We can be more willing to embrace risks and work creatively. We can feel good about the process not just about the result. It begins young. Research shows that children praised for being smart are often far less willing to take on a challenging task than those who are praised for trying hard. The lesson? We need to emphasize effort and deemphasize results. We can appreciate that weand theycant be perfect nor is it a goal we should aim for. And we should be careful of sending the contradictory message that its all right to make mistakes but not where it counts. Weve learned that mistakes arent usually the fault of one bad apple but far more often are caused by latent problems that a blatant error can bring to light. If we focus on the superficial error without doing the harderyet ultimately more profitablework of examining what led to the blunder we dont learn the lessons mistakes can teach us. In writing this book Ive discovered that everything hinges on communication. Giving and receiving criticism and negative feedback as well as apologizing and accepting apologies are difficult to do in a way that encourages rather than shuts down the conversation. Ive tried to convey to readers just how they can approach this tough but ultimately fruitful process. Research has shown us that there are tools we can useall of us from parents to teachers to doctors to pilots to CEOsto help us communicate far more successfully. Improved communication can lead to mistakes being a source of education not of shame. And it can ultimately improve our work and our relationships with our bosses spouses and children. If we can forgive ours and others errorsif we can put in our best effort but at the same time acknowledge that perfection is a myththen were on the right track. Author: Tugend Alina. Publisher: Riverhead Trade. Pages: 304. Dimensions: 8.2″ x 0.8″ x 5.4″.
